How Do I Know If This Person Is My God-Ordained Spouse?

How Do I Know If This Person Is My God-Ordained Spouse?

Introduction:
Finding the right spouse is one of the most significant decisions in life. As a Christian, you may often find yourself asking, “Is this the one God has chosen for me?” It’s a question that comes with deep emotional and spiritual weight. Ultimately, knowing if someone is your God-ordained spouse is a matter of seeking His will and trusting in His plan. God’s design for marriage is beautiful, and when you align yourself with His purpose, the decision becomes clearer.

In this blog post, we'll explore key principles to help you discern whether someone is the person God has chosen for you, grounded in Scripture and my own personal testimony.

1. Pray and Seek God First (Proverbs 3:5-6)

The first step in knowing if someone is your God-ordained spouse is to pray and seek God. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NKJV) encourages us to trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our understanding.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” (Proverbs 3:5-6, NKJV)

This means surrendering the relationship to God and allowing Him to guide your decisions. Prayer brings clarity and peace, and through it, you can discern if this person aligns with God’s will for your life.

2. Look for Alignment in Faith and Values (2 Corinthians 6:14)

One of the most crucial aspects of a God-ordained relationship is spiritual alignment. 2 Corinthians 6:14 (NKJV) clearly instructs us:

“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” (2 Corinthians 6:14, NKJV)

Being equally yoked means sharing the same core beliefs and values. If you and your potential spouse do not share the same faith in Christ, the relationship will face significant challenges. Aligning spiritually lays a strong foundation for a lasting, God-honoring marriage.

3. Observe Their Fruits (Matthew 7:16-20)

Jesus teaches us that we will recognize people by their fruits. In Matthew 7:16-20 (NKJV), He says:

“You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles? Even so, every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.” (Matthew 7:16-20, NKJV)

In evaluating a potential spouse, observe their character and actions. Are they displaying the fruits of the Spirit, such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23)? A godly spouse will bear good fruit, demonstrating integrity, kindness, and a genuine commitment to the Lord.

4. Are They Helping You Grow Spiritually? (Proverbs 27:17)

Proverbs 27:17 (NKJV) tells us:

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.”

A God-ordained spouse will encourage you to grow closer to Christ. They will support you in your spiritual journey, challenging you to become more like Jesus. If this person helps you grow in your faith, pray together, and pushes you to deepen your relationship with the Lord, they may very well be the one God has for you.

5. Listen for God’s Peace (Philippians 4:6-7)

One of the clearest signs of God’s leading is His peace. Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV) says:

“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7, NKJV)

When considering a relationship, watch for God’s peace. If there is turmoil or confusion, it may be a sign that this relationship is not His will. But when God gives you peace about a decision, you can trust that it’s aligned with His perfect plan for you.

6. Does This Relationship Reflect Christ’s Love? (Ephesians 5:25-28)

Ephesians 5:25-28 (NKJV) provides a powerful picture of the love Christ has for the church, which should reflect the love between a husband and wife:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her… So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.” (Ephesians 5:25-28, NKJV)

A God-ordained marriage is built on sacrificial, unconditional love—love that reflects Christ’s love for the church. If your relationship mirrors this kind of selfless, patient, and enduring love, it’s a good indicator that God has ordained it.

7. Seek Godly Counsel (Proverbs 11:14)

Proverbs 11:14 (NKJV) tells us:

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.”

Don’t be afraid to seek guidance from wise, spiritually mature individuals, such as pastors, mentors, or trusted friends. Sometimes, others can see things clearly that we might overlook. Their input can help confirm or challenge your feelings about the relationship.

8. Trust God’s Timing (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

God’s timing is always perfect. Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NKJV) says:

“To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, NKJV)

Trust that God’s timing is always right. Don’t rush into a relationship or marriage out of fear, pressure, or impatience. Allow God to guide you at His pace, and trust that He will bring the right person into your life at the perfect time.

Our Personal Testimony

My wife and I met at work and were friends for several months before considering anything romantic. We had both experienced one bad relationship after another, and during our time as friends, we shared many of our struggles and lessons learned. We would sit in my vehicle during lunch breaks and talk for the whole lunch break, finding comfort in our mutual understanding. Eventually, we started to "like each other", but I wanted to do something different.

I prayed and asked God for confirmation before making any decisions. I told my now-wife (though she wasn't my wife at the time) that I wanted us to pray together and ask God for confirmation about whether we should start dating. In my mind, dating was always a step toward marriage, and I wanted God to confirm it through two or three witnesses. And sure enough, those confirmations came. But I still wasn’t satisfied.

A week or two later, I invited the woman who would become my wife to my friend's house, where he was hosting a small church service in his home. My friend Isaiah was preaching on marriage that day—how ironic, right? Let me also mention that Isaiah has the gift of prophecy. (1 Corinthians 14:1 (NKJV), it says, "Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy.") In the middle of his message, Isaiah paused, smiled, and looked directly at me and my wife. He then said, “The Holy Spirit is showing me what’s going on between you two.” He walked over to me and simply said, “I believe you’ve had confirmation already.”

It was an undeniable, final confirmation from God that my wife and I were meant to be together. We’ve now been married for 8 years. We didn’t have a big, elaborate wedding—we went to the courthouse and got married on a random Sunday at church. The world tells us that we need a huge wedding, but I believe in God’s timing. As Scripture says, it’s better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9).

Bonus: Prepare Your Heart Through Healing and Deliverance

If you are considering marriage, one of the most important steps you can take is to seek healing and deliverance before entering into a covenant with someone. Why? Because unresolved trauma, soul wounds, demons, and generational curses can negatively impact your marriage. To build a strong, God-honoring foundation, you must start with a clean slate, allowing only the Holy Spirit to be the center of your union—not baggage from the past or unwanted demonic spirits wreaking havoc in your marriage.

1. Address Soul Wounds and Trauma (Psalm 34:18)
Psalm 34:18 (NKJV) says:

“The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves such as have a contrite spirit.”

Carrying unhealed wounds into marriage can lead to misunderstandings, unhealthy behaviors, and cycles of pain. Invite the Holy Spirit into your heart to heal the areas that are still hurting. Allow Him to restore you fully so you can love your spouse from a place of wholeness rather than brokenness.

2. Break Free from Generational Curses (Exodus 34:7)
Exodus 34:7 (NKJV) states:

“Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children and the children’s children to the third and the fourth generation.”

Generational curses can create destructive patterns in families, and only through Christ can they be broken. Declare freedom from

any curses that may be affecting your relationships, and ask God to help you break free from them.

Final Thoughts:

Knowing if someone is your God-ordained spouse involves prayer, spiritual discernment, and seeking godly counsel. Above all, trust that God will lead you in His perfect timing and bring you the right person when it’s time. As you seek God first, trust His guidance, and rely on His peace, you can confidently step forward in faith, knowing that His plan for your marriage will be nothing short of amazing.

As you trust God and face life’s challenges, remember that His promises are unwavering. Surrounding yourself with reminders of His faithfulness can help you stay rooted in His Word. Whether you're looking for something for yourself or your family, faith-inspired apparel can serve as a constant reminder of His love and promises. Let these pieces be a part of your journey, continually pointing you back to the truth of God's Word.